the longest day ever

Today they are peeling my dad’s face off, cutting a door out of the middle of his forehead, and removing cancer from his sinus, durum, and brain.  They may get in there and find it’s not operable.  They may get in there and find out the cancer is in both hemispheres of his brain, which means they can’t get it out without turning him into a different person (that part of his brain is home to his personality).  They may find more cancer than they thought and have to do more than they thought.  He might die on the table.  He might make it through the surgery and then not wake up, or worse, wake up as someone else.  And then, if all those other factors line up in a positive way, there is a chance that he will live, cancer free.  Odds keep flying through my brain, and it’s sooo hard to remain positive and believe that he is meant to stay with us.